GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize