Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
