Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Acid is not a monday night drug
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
