mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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