just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
