Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
