Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
