Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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