I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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