just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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