she was so not down for the gang bang
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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