he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
