I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
