He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
