he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
