Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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