GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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