Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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