Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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