Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
