It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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