I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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