just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
