Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
