That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
