Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I look better un-naked...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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