Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
