brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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