Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
