I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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