What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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