I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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