you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
