two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
