i permit you to call me
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
