he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
