ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
