I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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