I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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