i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
