Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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