I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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