We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
