Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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