I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
