He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
