Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
