You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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