will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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