The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
