are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize