Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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