We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
