You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
