That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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