My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
