I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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