College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
