it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
